A Lesson Worth Learning

Recently I was dropping off my 4 youngest arrows with my Mom, so that we could have a 'date' with our 16 year old daughter, Karizma, at the fair.  (We got to see Switchfoot in concert there, and they ALWAYS put on a great show!)  Anyway, Walker had forgotten to bring a book to read, so we headed to Gramita's bookcase and found a wealth of great books from the 1800's there.  One of the books that stood out to me was a book called 'Moral Lessons of Yesteryear', which is a book that was originally copyrighted in 1919.  It had some great lessons in it, and this was one of my favorites:

RULES FOR TALKING


Utter no useless words.


Reflect before speaking.


Confide these but to a few persons.


Leave it to the world to talk of the world.


Never seek information through curiosity.


Say little of your works, less of your troubles.


Restrain the tongue when the heart is agitated.


Be silent when you feel too great a desire to talk.


Aim at speaking to the purpose, rather than often.


Complain of nothing, neither of persons nor things.


Speak after others; never against others; always well of others.


Choose to listen rather than to talk, for silence is preferable to speech.


It is wise to talk too little than too much, and to speak well than to say many things.

Hope you are as blessed by this as I was...convicted, as well!
God bless your day!

MUAH!!!

As in kissses.

As in kisses ALL DAY from the Lord on my cheek!

Yesterday Tim and I celebrated our 10th anniversary and I just had to take a minute to jot down all the kisses God was planting on me yesterday.  It was truly such a sweet day.  I never want to forget it.

Kiss #1.  The beautiful morning.  I woke up so refreshed and ready for the day.

Kiss #2.  My quiet time in the Word.  I chose Song of Solomon for today, since it seemed fitting.  I lingered on chapters 4 and 5.  I love those.

Kiss #3.  The Zumba class I went to.  (I shook things I didn't know I had to shake!)

Kiss #4.  The negative TB test results. (I am one step closer to my first birth as a doula.  I am so excited and will post about that later.)

Kiss #5.  The parking attendant giving me my money back, so FREE parking! (I used the money later to buy fresh cherries. The best!)

Kiss #6.  Finding the shortcut on the freeway.

Kiss #7.  The visit with a sweet friend.  Thank you, Kimberly for thinking of our Isa.  We LOVE Kadie's hand me downs. And, thank you, Kadie, for growing like a weed. ;0)

Kiss #8.  Miguel driving the kids up the mountain to Gramita's house, so I could clean.  I love having a  trustworthy son that can drive! 

Kiss #9.  The FB exchange between Elizabeth and I.  E, you make me laugh.  Thanks for your informative texts today.  You helped me so much.   

Kiss #10.  Tickets to the Vicente Fernandez concert.  A friend on FB posted that he was in town for a concert.  I so wanted to see a mariachi on our anniversary, but seeing CHENTE was above and beyond!  If you know your mariachi music, you know that Vicente F. is the KING of this stuff. 

Kiss #11.  Clean sheets.

Kiss #12.  The scale.  And, the 4 pounds I have lost in the last 10 days.

Kiss #13.  The Festie.  (Festie:  Just the word I made up for what Katie is to me, my fit friend.  She sends me encouraging texts and checks on me as I try to lose some weight. Thanks, Katie, for your encouragement, for sharing your triumphs, and for your support!)

Kiss #14.  Trying on a dress I had in my closet that was tight a few months back, but fits now.

Kiss #15.  The card.  Tim writes the sweetest cards.

Kiss #16.  The gift.  I need to elaborate on this one.  Tim and I have a 'rule', if you will.  We decided many years ago to not get each other gifts on our anniversary.  Most years, he still gets me something, but it is  still the 'rule'.  However, I do not expect a gift.  As I was getting ready for our date, I decided to wear my hair in a tight ponytail.  Tim's favorite way to see my hair.  I was putting on some cute hoop earrings I found at H&M for $2.95 but, secretly dreaming about the diamond hoop earrings at my in-laws jewelry store.  I am not a big jewelry wearer, but these earrings are so pretty.  The thought came as quickly as it came, but when Tim laid a gift on my lap as we were headed out to dinner, and I opened that box, I could not help but squeal and cry that God was in every detail.  He used Tim to give me a sweet kiss of diamonds.  Those earrings will remind me that I am God's princess and that I am worth more than any amount of diamonds to Him.  So, this year, we will go ahead and make an exception to the 'rule'.

Kiss #17.  A sweet date night.

Kiss #18.  Dessert?  Nah.  I took one bite and was like, ok, that was sweet.  No thanks.

Kiss #19.  My husband.

Kiss #20.  JESUS.

Some of these kisses are on my cheek, but the last one is on my forehead, daily, minute by minute, because that is where the sweetest kisses are received.

It was a perfect day.  All the glory goes to God.  Looking forward to what our 20th anniversary will bring.

What's On My Heart

Does your heart ever feel like this?

Heavy.  Light.  Fulfilled.  Achy.  All at the same time?

Is your mind ever overwhelmed like this?

Praying.  Doubting.  Seeking.  Questioning.  To the point of feeling like it is going to explode?

Does the above start to spill over into your life like this?

Tired.  Happy.  Dragging.  Smiling.  Sometimes wondering if people are confused with what is really going on?

I have learned so much within the last 4-5 years that my spiritual life has changed and grown.  I have been blessed with a church that encourages me.  A pastor that teaches me.  A body of Christ that loves me.  I have learned not only through my growth as a Christian, but also as I become older, to not take everything so seriously, and to truly be joyful in all things.  Most times I am joyful!  Like last week when my sweet niece Aspen Jade was born.  Pure Joy!  Or the time I walked into Miguel's job at the local grocery store and his boss kept going on and on about how Miguel was one of the best workers he has ever had.  Again, JOY!  However, sometimes you are faced with difficult things that make your heart ache and your heels drag one minute, but happy and smiling the next because you can't help but see God's goodness in so many things before you.  That's me, right now.

And, even as I type this, I am feeling like, 'really, you aren't happy right now?'  Then reminded of the heavy things on my heart, and thinking, 'really, you aren't worried right now?'  But, I must trust in my Father and that He knows what is best.  So, I will press on and see the things that seem so weighty as a gift.  A gift that reminds me to turn to my Father and lay it at His feet.  That it is not my burden to carry.  His Word comforts me:  

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

He also reminds us to be joyful, even in the midst of difficulty...read this:  

¹⁷ Though the fig tree does not bud 
   and there are no grapes on the vines, 
though the olive crop fails 
   and the fields produce no food, 
though there are no sheep in the pen 
   and no cattle in the stalls, 
¹⁸ yet I will rejoice in the LORD, 
   I will be joyful in God my Savior.  Habakkuk 3:17-18

I have you, sweet Savior...what more could I want?  Need?  I seek to glorify you, Jesus.  Use me.  Even in my sorrow, use me!

So, as I close this, I feel better already...restored by His love letter to me.  Reminded of how much He loves me.  

Lord, you are God over all!  You are mighty to save!  Today I lift up those that do not know of your love personally.  Those that do not know of the comfort you bring through your Word and the Holy Spirit.  Father, help me to be bold and share your goodness with others.

Diapers VS The Potty

This is where I want you to insert the Rocky Theme song.  You know, the one...

Da da daaaaa Da da daaaaa Da da daaaaaa Da da daaaaa dadadadadaa da dum da dum dadum

Ok, you know the one.  Anyway,  insert it and know that in one sense, it is what keeps me going.  Why?  Because, it is diapers VS the potty and I refuse to let the diapers win.  You would think with as many arrows as I have been blessed with I would remember life's little trials, such as the one that owns the title today.  However,  I do tend to have mommy memory, which seems to erase any difficulty I have faced thus far, so that I won't be discouraged when I need to face it again.

As I mentioned in my last post, I planned on having Belle out of diapers so that we wouldn't need to continue to spend the $40 a month any longer.  Well, God in has grace and mercy has granted us this desire and Belle has been out of diapers for over 2 weeks now.  I can't tell you how proud of her I am and how much I love seeing her prance around the house in her panties.  It is the cutest thing!  The best was when we bought her some pink cowgirl boots the other day and she walked around the house all day in her tee, panties, and boots.  I have missed having a little girl in the house!

Ok, so what's my problem, right?  I mean, she's out of diapers!  She's officially potty trained and a BIG GIRL NOW!  She rarely has an accident, and if she does it is usually because we couldn't get her to a toilet in time.  She has stayed dry all day, even on long trips to and from Disneyland.  I got it made, right?  Well, I had forgotten a few little things that come along with the joy of having a new child become potty trained. 

1.  The FASCINATION of new toilets...
All of my children seem to be fascinated with new toilets as soon as they are potty trained.  Not new in the actual sense of the word, but in the new to their own hienies, sense of the word.
New toilets at a store. 
New toilets at a friend's house.
New toilets at a mall.
New toilets at outdoor events.  Which to you and me are port-a-potties.

This means they want to go the minute we arrive someplace new and isn't it interesting that the urge comes on at the exact moment they see a 'restroom' sign?

2.  The TRIGGER of the word 'potty'...
Me:  "Boys, do you need to go potty before we leave for the dentist?"
Belle:  "I need to go potty! I need to go potty! I need to go potty!"

Karizma:  "I'm taking the dog out to go potty."
Belle:  "I need to go potty! I need to go potty! I need to go potty."

Me:  "Miguel, don't forget to clean up the restroom."
Belle:  "I need to go potty!  I need to go potty!  I need to go potty!"

Me-before bedtime to the kiddos: "Make sure you brush your teeth!"
Belle:  "I need to go potty! I need to go potty! I need to go potty!"
(So, you see that it isn't just the word 'potty', but any word that associates with the bathroom, in general.)

3.  QUANTITY vs quality...
I really do believe I am spending more time inside restrooms,  near and far, than anywhere else, this past month.  Belle is a big believer in quantity over quality.  I think it is because she is trying so hard to understand her body and decipher between when she really needs to go or not.  So, this means, that we must encourage her and take her every time she asks.  We never know if it is the real thing or not and don't want to take the chance.  Karizma and I learned that the hard way a couple of weeks ago at Target.  She said she had to go as soon as we walked in.  Karizma took her.  Not even 3 minutes later, she said she had to go again.  Karizma took her, again.  Then, 5 minutes after that run, she said it again.  We decided against erring on the side of caution, and paid the price 2 minutes later, when she gave us quite a bit of quantity and quality in her panties.  We then decided that not only was it not fair to not believe her, but it sent the wrong message to her, as well.  So, now we take her EVERY time she says she has to go.  This means that we do spend an awful lot of time in restrooms.  At home, church, Target, port-a-potties.  (This past Sunday at church, I believe between Karizma and I, we took Belle to the potty a total of 6 times, and that was before our Pastor even began the sermon!)

I'd forgotten about the FASCINATION, the TRIGGER, and the QUANTITY.

But, I'd also forgotten about the look of accomplishment and pride they get each time our large family squishes into our tiny bathroom to give her nothing short of a potty party when she makes it to the bathroom.

And, I'd forgotten the sense of accomplishment I also get from walking past the diaper aisle at the store and knowing that I no longer need to pay for another one of those...well, unless God chooses to bless us with another arrow. :0)

Belle at 20 months, is the first to be fully trained before age 2 out of my kiddos. (Karizma was trained at exactly 2.  Miguel, Walker, Zack by 27 months.  And, Christian by 2.5 years, in case you were wondering)

She also doesn't need diapers at night, but I am still putting them on, just in case...at least for another couple of weeks.  She sleeps on her toddler bed next to Karizma and wakes her up in the middle of the night to use the potty and slept with me last night and at 1am, I heard the sweetst little voice..."I need to go potty.  I need to go potty.  I need to go potty." 

So, I am losing some sleep at night.  And, I am spending a lot of time hanging out with toilets, known and unknown.  But, seeing my baby conquer one of the first big goals of her life has been nothing short of amazing to me.  I am thrilled to be a part of it all and look forward to the next milestone reached. 

So, in the battle of the diapers VS the potty...the potty wins!

*If you are curious as to how many times I needed to pause while I wrote this post to make a dash to the restroom, it was a total of 3 times, with only 1 of those times actually being productive.  Sure do love my life as mommy and wife, and I am NOT being sarcastic. :0)

Cutting Corners

Being good stewards of our money is very important to us.  We want to not only be godly examples to our children, but our ultimate goal is to please our Heavenly Father with the decisions we are making with the money he blesses our family with.  

This morning as I was reading the Proverbs of the day, 21, I came across verse 5:  

 "The plans of the diligent lead to profit
   as surely as haste leads to poverty."

Ain't that the truth!  

With Tim's new position as a partner at his firm, and now becoming self employed due to it, it means having to really budget and prepare for taxes next year.  This means putting a freeze on savings and any extra funds coming our way, to ensure we will have enough cash to pay those taxes.  I am excited to see what God does with our savings account due to this new step we are taking.  We love Dave Ramsey and he says that when there is a major job change, you shouldn't make any big moves with your money.  We really want to make wise choices with money.

First things first... Tithing!  Giving our firstfruits to the Lord has been such a blessing to us!

Secondly...We are striving to be a debt free family.  This means no credit cards (Thank you, Lord, we are free of those binds!), no car payments (Our cars are all paid off), and snowballing our debt (God has provided for us greatly and the only debt we still are paying off is Tim's student loans).

With all this being said, it is my pleasure to announce that the White House is cutting corners!  It may not be the White House that affects all Americans, but it is the White House that affects our family of 8.

Here are a few of the things we are doing to cut corners:

-Shut off cable.

What a great decision this was.  We were just letting TV steal way too much of our time.  This doesn't mean we won't watch a movie, or the occasional tv show on our basic local channels, but the distraction of hundreds of channels was just a temptation that needed to be deleted from our lives.  Savings per month: $55

-Shut off our home phone.

With 4 cell phones in the house, it was just the wise choice to make.  Savings per month: $22

-Modifying our menu.

Sure, I love a good steak.  And, don't get me wrong, eating out is not only fun but there is no cleaning.  But, lets face it...that can get really expensive.  I will say that we rarely eat out as a whole family.  If we do, there is usually a reason like a birthday or some other celebration behind it, but with a family as large as ours, that can really add up! So, we will be more careful about sticking to a list at the grocery store and having more veggie soups and leftovers.  Savings per month: $100-150

-Potty training.

At 18 months we started having Isabella sit on the potty in the mornings.  Sometimes she goes, sometimes she doesn't.  It was more to get her used to it.  At 19 months, we were more persistent, asking her if she needed to go and she started to recognize more often when she needed to go.  Now that she just turned 20 months, and we want to save the money on diapers, we are going to go cold turkey.  That means panties at home (Thank you, God, for tile floors.) and in panties on short trips out.  Sure, it means more laundry, but only for a short time, because she is really getting the concept and at home, she does most of her #2's in the potty now.  This is the added bonus to potty training... not having to change anymore poopy diapers!  HALLELUJAH!  Savings per month: $40 

-No clothes until I drop a size.

This one is for me, not my children.  I want to be healthier.  I want to feel better.  I want to look better.  This one is a really easy corner to cut, because I really don't enjoy purchasing clothes at this point.  I haven't really bought myself any clothes since Isabella was born 20 months ago.  I truly do enjoy shopping for maternity clothes, but regular clothes, not so much.  So, as I get back into a fitness routine, I hope that I can purchase myself a nice dress for summer.  I am blessed that I have more than enough clothes to keep me covered until summer. Savings per month: $0-10 

(Tim agreed to buy me a nice pair of running shoes for Valentine's Day.  He did purchase me a BEAUTIFUL necklace, that I loved, but I really, really, really know that the shoes are what I need...the jewels can be my reward once I lose some weight...hint, hint, Honey.  Oh, and as I sit here and type, Bella is sitting on my lap in her Princess Belle panties and decided to peepee all over me.  The brightside, I didn't have to change her diaper and I was going to wash these pajama bottoms today anyway!  I think I just saved 20 cents already!)

-Cash only.

This one is tough.  We have tried it before, and have such a hard time sticking to it.   However, I find that what one of Dave Ramsey's listeners said about using cash only is very true, 

"I have noticed that since I've started using the envelope system, I'm spending about $60 less per two-week period than when I used a debit card. I think it's because when I lay three $20s down for groceries, it hurts! When I paid with debit, it didn't really register with me."

I agree with this statement, wholeheartedly.  There will be the exception, such as bills and gas, but I really want to get in the habit of leaving my debit card at home.  So, Father God, I ask that you help me as I take on this goal, one more time.  Please, help it to be the last, and that it sticks.  That you help me to make wise decisions with the money you bless us with.  That, you be the guide for each dollar!

-Freezing our savings account.

This means no 15 passenger van this year.  We have saved enough cash to purchase one...depleting a few thousand dollars recently for an unavoidable expense, but we have agreed that we are not going to touch this money until we know what to expect from our tax situation.  Thankfully, everything we need is really close, so even when we have to drive 2 vehicles, it isn't for a long drive, and we are just so thankful to have 2 cars to begin with.  Savings for the year: $18,000-20,000

I'm excited to see what God is going to do in our financial life.  I am excited to be an example to our children of good stewardship.  The Lord uses them often to be that example to me.

Now, to go wash those Belle panties and my pajama bottoms.

Because He Said So, That's Why!

So often I stand in awe of God and the things he does for me.  I describe those moments as 'mindblowing' or 'unbelievable'.  I share with friends through a phonecall, or post a status on facebook, or just sit and contemplate it all.  How amazing God is.  But, I do it almost as if it is shocking or something.  Then, I remember...He said He would provide for me!  He said He would never forsake me!  Why am I so surprised that He would take care of all my needs?  Why do I find it mindblowing that He would care about the desires of my heart?  Why do I think it unbelievable that He is mindful of me?

Oh, I am weak and of so little faith!  But, His Word is a faithful reminder that He provides for me
BECAUSE HE SAID SO, THAT'S WHY! 

And, having that awe about God and His goodness isn't a bad thing at all.  It brings me to a point of humility that He would do for me, in abundance, even though my heart fails to always be mindful of Him.  It reminds me to not limit God.  That I should always be praying with an expectant heart!

"...abundantly above all that we ask or think"  Ephesians 3:20

I want to be very aware of His mighty power!  So, today I am praying and being mindful to pray without limiting Him!  Praying for healing!  Praying for provision!  Praying for His abounding joy in the midst of the storms!  And, I am also thanking Him for giving me many, many, many opportunites to share about His love and grace...I think I will take this opportunity now to share one of our latest praises:

Recently Tim received a promotion at work.  He is now a partner at his firm!  Praise God!  We have been praying for this position for about 2 years, and God faithfully provided in His perfect timing.  We did realize though, that the promotion would mean less money due to having to start filing our taxes as self employed.  We prayed about it and both were very aware that God wouldn't have given Tim this position if He wasn't going to provide.  We prayed that God would open the door with Tim's employers to raise his pay to take care of those extra monetary needs.  Just before he went in to speak with his employer, Tim called and asked us to pray.  We did as a family, praying that God would make it so that Tim wouldn't even need to ask for that raise, and wouldn't  you know that is exactly what happened?  Tim said he barely got 2 words out, before his employer said to just let him know what it was he needed and they would take care of it. 

So, as I type this I am back to that feeling of wonderment and my mind being blown!!  I am incredibly humbled by His constant provision for our family!  I am so grateful to serve a God that keeps His Word. 

Sweet Sixteen (And A Quarter)

My little girl turned SWEET SIXTEEN back in  November.  What a beauty she is...inside and out.

Kari Calamari,


Remember when you would sit in front of your little dresser and pull out outfit after outfit?  You were only 7 months old, but I knew then that having a daughter would be one of the most amazing rides of my life.  I wasn't wrong.


Remember when we would sit in bed and have our 'private' talks?  I would ask you if anything was heavy on your heart and being only 4, usually the heaviest thing on your heart would be about Lucky's ear coming undone.


Remember when you would listen to Gospel Duck in Gramita's van and recite the sinners prayer at the end?  I know that you can't really recall the exact moment when you asked Jesus into your life, but I love knowing how the seeds were being planted in you all the time.


Remember the night before I married Dad when you spent the night with me and my bridesmaids at the hotel?  You were the prettiest little 6 year old I had ever laid eyes on.  I knew that the next night, everything would be different.  I wondered how you would adjust to a new dad and seeing Mom married.  Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined you would have fallen just as in love with Dad as I did.  And, he, with you.


Remember the time your best friend broke your heart?  How I longed to take on every ounce of hurt and every tear that fell.  Being a preteen can be so hard, but it meant so much to me that you confided in me and that you were so open to hear what I had to say.  I believe that incident made you stronger, and helped mold you into the most amazing, trustworthy, thoughtful, caring, selfless, loyal, best friend that any girl could EVER ask for!


Remember the time that we all went to the sonogram together on Christmas Eve, 2008?  You were 15 and had been praying for a little sister for as long as you knew how to pray.  When the technician announced it was a girl, I thought of you and how now you would have your Isabella to my Amanda.  What a blessing.


Remember when Belle was born?  You got to hold her first.  And, I believe you held her for an hour straight.  You still haven't put her down.  I am so blessed she has you as her big sister.  There isn't a better one around!


Remember the day of your sweet sixteen party, when you put on your pretty sparkly dress, straightened your hair, put on your lipgloss, and my heart skipped a beat?  OK...maybe you don't remember that, but I will never forget it.  How I was overwhelmed with the gift God had given me in you, my daughter, my best friend.  I couldn't help but think that you were one of the treasures that I would have with me one day in Heaven, for all eternity, since you came to know Jesus as your Lord and Savior.  And, how proud of you I was as you made your public declaration to serve Him when you were baptized.  Also, how deeply it touches me that you have such a servants heart at home, at church, and towards anyone you meet.  My heart skips 2 beats, Kari, just witnessing my little girl, on a daily basis,  growing into the Godly young woman you are.  


You, Karizma, have a very special place in my heart.  I love you and am looking forward to all the wonderful things I can look back on and remember as you continue to grow in the Grace of God.  Continue to live for Him and all the days of your life will be blessed.


Iloveyou a kazillion-kamillion, Mamas,
Mom
-----------------------------------------------


*Thanks, to Julia at photojulia.com, for taking such amazing pictures of our baby girl, above.

**Thanks to everyone that came out to Karizma's party and loved on her.  You all made this such a special night for her.  Each and every single one of you has taken the time to love on her and Miguel at some point or another, and may God bless you for taking the time to be kind, be loving, and friends to our children.  We love you all.

l-r: Miguel, Brianna, Whitney, Hannah, Karizma, Amy, Steph, and Tony

Watching all the adults hit the pinata was so fun!

I love how Kaylee is giving Miguel specific instructions on how to make this easy on her

Love you, Sus

l-r: Dan, Brian, and Pastor Steve

Kari's girls: Hannah, Steph, Amy, and Whitney

One of our favorite couples, Kaylee and Bill with  Miguel

l-r: Tony, Mary, Susan, and Brianna

Bella with her Auntie Kelley and Uncle Chris

Zack enjoying a cupcake with Grandad

l-r: Dave, Sherry nursing Karizma's 'adopted son'-Samuel, and Auntie Tam

Karizma's main man, Dad and her lovely Grandmom



Next sweet sixteen will be Isabella Grace's...only 14 1/2 years to go!