Is This Goodbye?

Could the sun be setting on our time together?  Well, not neccessarily...


Recently I started to weigh some thoughts in my head and they came back pretty heavy. I want to be a blessing to others, and I want to shine Jesus, but sometimes, I need to protect my heart, too. So, I am going private. It may be for a short while, a long while. Not quite sure.  The Lord will direct my path, but I was wondering if you want to come along for that ride? Let me know if you do.

Thanks for your support, love, and encouragement.  May God continue to bless you as you serve Him!!

Is That A Log In Your Eye?

"All of the charm and beauty of a woman may have amounts to nothing if her ambitions are self-centered. But if she reflects her Creator and assumes the posture of a graceful servant, she cannot help but command high respect and love." ~Jeanne Hendricks



I love my husband. He works hard to provide for us. He takes good care of me. He takes good care of my arrows. He loves the Lord. All that is nice and good, but it is those little 'quirks' or 'imperfections', that remove his luster sometimes. You know, the quirks and imperfections that you found cute when you were dating or first married? Yeah, you know what I am talking about. They are the ones that are now driving a thorn into your side. They are the ones that have you grumbling and mumbling because you are allowing it to annoy you or drive you up the wall. They are the imperfections that have me falling to my knees in prayer for my dear, 'faulty' husband, because HE is the one that needs the prayer. HE is the one that has so much work that needs to be done on him. Sure, I am not without sin, but HE is really messed up, so I am being really selfless by asking God to help him and fix him, aren't I? NOT.

Dear Sisters, let us not forget Matthew 7:3:

3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

I am so guilty of seeing a speck in my eye, and accusing Tim of not just a plank, but plankS, in his. And, can I get an OUCH for the dose of medicine given by being called a hypocrite? OOOOUCH. Big ouch.

So today is about humbling ourselves before the Lord and asking for forgiveness if we have done what Matthew 7:3 suggests. It is about learning to ask God to change our hearts and our ways, instead of asking to have Him change our husbands. Oh, how I long to be humble in that manner. Oh, how I long to do right in my Father's eyes. So, right now as I searched for the perfect verse to add here, the Holy Spirit drew me to this in 2 Corinthians 11:30 (Read 11:16-30 to get the full idea of what Paul was sharing regarding his weaknesses):

"If I must talk about myself, I will do it about the things that show how weak I am."

Another whammy. I love how the Lord is growing me even as I type this email in the wee hours of the morning!


So, my husband's quirks, which shall remain unnamed, are the LEAST of my concerns. The funny thing is that I know I must have some really funky quirks and my husband never points them out! I know that he overlooks them, and sometimes even will work with them, so as to not humiliate me. Oh, how the power of conviction just washed over me as I typed that.

So, ladies, this is our challenge... to take a look at the planks... or in my case, logs, in our eye. To really be aware of our thoughts and tongue. To humble ourselves before our God, and yes, sometimes even in front of our husbands and ask forgiveness and repent. To be aware of actions. And, even take the next step and ask our husband's to hold us accountable for our tongues and our actions. I know once I did, after my sweet friend Julia suggested it, I experienced a really rough few days, because Tim was gentle in his rebuke, but the poor guy has a lot of things to be keeping me accountable for! I think he started to get overwhelmed with all my yuck and has taken a bit of a break, lol.

I ask you to please pray for me to have God humble me, break me, and remold me into a wife that is loving and gracious and meek. A wife that instead of seeing her husband's weaknesses, is fully aware of her own. A wife that seeks God's heart on how to deal with issues at home, that might seem bothersome to her, but make her husband who he is because God made him that way. Oh, yes, soften my heart towards my gift from you, My Timmy, Lord.

Random Act Of Kindness?

I don't believe in coincidences. I don't think that things happen randomly. I believe that God is in every single detail and I see evidence of that on a daily basis, if I stop to take the time to notice Him and savor Him.

co·in·ci·dence   [koh-in-si-duhns]
–noun
1.
a striking occurrence of two or more events at one time apparently by mere chance: Our meeting in Venice was pure coincidence.

ran·dom   [ran-duhm] Show IPA
–adjective
1.
proceeding, made, or occurring without definite aim, reason, or pattern.

Many years ago when I was a very little girl I experienced a random act of kindness. I was about 7 years old and my parents would give us a quarter each Sunday as our allowance. My sister, Amanda, and I, would walk across the street to Safeway to buy our favorite chocolate bars for the week. Hers was 3 musketeers, mine Milky Way. Each Sunday this was our ritual, and something we looked forward to. I remember going to the check stand where they keep all the candybars. I put my Milky Way up on the conveyer belt, put my little divider up between my candy bar and Amanda's, and waited my turn to pay.

I will never forget the face of that cashier. I remember the big 80's hair...poofy and blonde and teased to high heaven. I remember blue eyeshadow that was brighter than any crayon I had ever seen. And, that lipstick. It was the color of strawberry flavored Hubba Bubba bubblegum. She also had some of those feather earrings on. Man, how I wanted a pair of those feather earrings, back then. Anyway, i'll never forget her because she was the first person that caused me to suffer from humiliation. She caused me embarrassment. Here's why...

I had my quarter ready to hand over to this lovely cashier and she must have given me the total, but I must not have noticed what she said, being excited about my Milky Way and all, and handed her over my quarter. She scoffed and said I owed her a dime. What? A dime? What do you mean?

"They are 25 cents." I reminded her.

"No. 35 cents." She crossed her arms, impatiently.

"But, I was here last week, and they were 25 cents, then."

"Well, they aren't now. Do you want it or not?" She never cracked a smile or a kind tone.

I started to cry because I knew I didn't have a dime, and neither did my sister. I was embarrassed that she spoke to me in such a belittling way and that I was holding up the line, and I just froze. As the tears slid down my face you could see she just wanted me to move and my little sister, whom was always so protective, started to give the cashier a look that probably could have straightened that teased head of hair straight. Then, it happened. A moment that has been engraved on my heart for over 30 years.

He leaned down and said, "Here you go."

"Huh?" He was handing me a dime.

I remember how shiny it looked. How cool it felt against my skin. How it seemed like I had grown from 2 inches to 20 feet the minute it hit my palm.

"Thank you." I said, as I wiped the tears and handed it proudly to the cashier. She took it without so much as a smile, or a thank you, or anything that would give me a hint as to her having a kind bone in her body.

I'll never forget the face of that kind man, either. How he didn't hesitate to help me. How he took a moment to bless a little girl at a time she felt so defeated and insecure and sad. He probably never gave it a second thought, his act of kindness, but God had a hand in that act, so it wasn't random. Nothing is random, because God had everything planned out for us, even before we were born. And, now, when I think of that kind man, which is anytime I see a Milky Way bar or see someone doing something kind for a child, I pray for him. And, I know that the Lord would want me to pray for that cashier, too. So, anytime I see big blonde hair, or blue eyeshadow, I will pray for her, as well.

So, remember, even the tiniest thing you do in a child's life can stay with them forever. The kind acts, and the not so kind. Never think that what you do is insignificant, because it could be something that changes the life of a child forever.

Oh, and what about my sister's 3 Musketeer's bar? There was a woman standing behind the kind gentleman in line, that blessed her with a dime of her own. Told, you God was in every detail.

"The dice are thrown in the lap, and every decision is from the Lord" Proverbs 16:33

Oh, The Tangled Web We Weave...

The other night one of my children, whom shall remain unnamed, told me a lie. To my face. No hesitation. Just flat out lied to me. I had no clue, took this child at their word and believed every syllable coming out of their mouth. Daddy, my wise husband that has been blessed with the gift of discernment, caught it.

ME: But, how do you know he/she is lying? You have no proof! (I defended, as he had just finished having a 'talk' with said child and taking away the new thing they had just purchased with their own money. I felt he was being unjust. He said he just knew and was waiting for said child to confess, but that he wanted said child to know that the Holy Spirit had given him wisdom on the matter.)

ME: I don't think you are being fair. (Wise husband tries to explain, I wave him off, not wanting to be part of this mess.)

About an hour later my dear, wise, discerning husband comes into the room to let me know that said child had confessed. Confessed to their bold lie. That this child owned up to their sin and had asked him for forgiveness.

WHAT?!! How could I have been so blind? How did this sweet, loving child look me right in the eye and lie to me?

How broken hearted I became.

How saddened.

How betrayed.

How convicted.

I was learning how my Father must feel when I lie to Him. When I think I am pulling one over on Him, but He knows my heart. He knows my thoughts... even before I think them! Oh, Father, I love my child, but nowhere as much as you love me! So, if this hurts me so much to have my child disobey me, it must really be sorrowful to you when I disobey you and sin.

1 John 3:20
whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

Then, after I pondered these thoughts I was convicted, yet again.

How convicted.

I had not supported my husband. I had not stood with him. Instead, I argued, complained, and then shut him out. Did he react to my little pity party? Thank God, he did not. He stood firm and praise God he did. So, I was also feeling very convicted that I was not being very Proverbs 31 earlier. Verse 11 states that her husband has full confidence in her, and lacks nothing of value. Ouch. Big ouch.

So, although Satan sought out to have my child lie to me, God was glorified in this situation. My child was convicted, I was convicted, and relationships will be stronger because of it. I love how God makes beauty of ashes! Since that night, I have been reminded what a gift my husband is to me and my children. What an important job I hold as a wife and mother. What a beautiful thing it is to see a child full of repent. What a blessing it is to see God in all things; good and bad.

The truth WILL SET YOU FREE!!