What's On My Heart

Does your heart ever feel like this?

Heavy.  Light.  Fulfilled.  Achy.  All at the same time?

Is your mind ever overwhelmed like this?

Praying.  Doubting.  Seeking.  Questioning.  To the point of feeling like it is going to explode?

Does the above start to spill over into your life like this?

Tired.  Happy.  Dragging.  Smiling.  Sometimes wondering if people are confused with what is really going on?

I have learned so much within the last 4-5 years that my spiritual life has changed and grown.  I have been blessed with a church that encourages me.  A pastor that teaches me.  A body of Christ that loves me.  I have learned not only through my growth as a Christian, but also as I become older, to not take everything so seriously, and to truly be joyful in all things.  Most times I am joyful!  Like last week when my sweet niece Aspen Jade was born.  Pure Joy!  Or the time I walked into Miguel's job at the local grocery store and his boss kept going on and on about how Miguel was one of the best workers he has ever had.  Again, JOY!  However, sometimes you are faced with difficult things that make your heart ache and your heels drag one minute, but happy and smiling the next because you can't help but see God's goodness in so many things before you.  That's me, right now.

And, even as I type this, I am feeling like, 'really, you aren't happy right now?'  Then reminded of the heavy things on my heart, and thinking, 'really, you aren't worried right now?'  But, I must trust in my Father and that He knows what is best.  So, I will press on and see the things that seem so weighty as a gift.  A gift that reminds me to turn to my Father and lay it at His feet.  That it is not my burden to carry.  His Word comforts me:  

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

He also reminds us to be joyful, even in the midst of difficulty...read this:  

¹⁷ Though the fig tree does not bud 
   and there are no grapes on the vines, 
though the olive crop fails 
   and the fields produce no food, 
though there are no sheep in the pen 
   and no cattle in the stalls, 
¹⁸ yet I will rejoice in the LORD, 
   I will be joyful in God my Savior.  Habakkuk 3:17-18

I have you, sweet Savior...what more could I want?  Need?  I seek to glorify you, Jesus.  Use me.  Even in my sorrow, use me!

So, as I close this, I feel better already...restored by His love letter to me.  Reminded of how much He loves me.  

Lord, you are God over all!  You are mighty to save!  Today I lift up those that do not know of your love personally.  Those that do not know of the comfort you bring through your Word and the Holy Spirit.  Father, help me to be bold and share your goodness with others.