I was raised to be thankful. To be grateful for everything we had. My Mom instilled in us hearts to see the beauty in all things and it helped us to not take things for granted. It was such a sweet way to grow up. She put in the time and energy to remind us constantly to thank God for our food, eachother, the blessings around us. And we did. Fast forward 30 or so years... to this morning. I was feeling so overwhelmed by my roles of wife, mother, friend, sister in Christ. I had a feeling of doom and gloom and as if I had this heavy load on my shoulders. What I find is happening is the more I read God's Word, the more I am convicted and aware of just how truly sinful I am. I am becoming more and more aware of just how much I truly need a Savior and how much I thought I would be able to save myself. What a burden that is! I praise God that He lifted that burden from me and I know that there is no amount of 'good things' I could do to earn my salvation. That it is His grace through what Jesus did on the cross that saves me. But, still I allow myself to be sidetracked into believing that I am going to be crushed under the weight of my circumstances. Oh, how foolish! Especially when God's Word is so clear about this issue. Which is why I returned to that place my Mom would point us to. If I had a heart of thankfulness... it would point me back to God and His loving mercy and grace towards me.
I started to take time to transform my thoughts. I needed to do this over and over all day today. I am sure I will be doing it for the rest of my life, but today was definitely a doozy. I decided to go and read a book outside. Wow. Endless reasons to be thankful! God was blowing my mind with beauty and reasons to stop grumbling and being sad, and I was overcome with joy. I was thankful for the book I was reading. Thankful for Zack as he sat quietly next to me reading his dinosaur book. Thankful for his long eyelashes and pretty blue/golden eyes. I was thankful for the oak tree providing shade and the sun providing warmth. I was thankful for the little princess that brought me out a tray of plastic donuts and imaginary tea to enjoy with my quiet time. I was thankful for the comfy chair in the backyard. The light breeze. I was especially thankful for His love towards me. He took the time to give me answers and comfort me and encourage me. And all I had to do was look no further than my Bible.
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Isn't that beautifully encouraging?! And that God makes His command so clear to us. He uses words that don't allow room for question:
Rejoice ALWAYS.
Pray WITHOUT ceasing.
Give thanks in ALL circumstances.
For THIS IS the will of GOD in CHRIST JESUS FOR YOU.
I recognize that I don't rejoice always, or pray without ceasing, or give thanks in all circumstances... however, God is a God of mercy and He loves me and forgives me and gives me opportunity after opportunity to make things right again. I am blessed beyond measure, no matter how bleak my circumstances may look. I know that God means all the trials we are facing for His glory and for His good. I may be pressed on every side, but I am not crushed. I may be perplexed, but not driven to despair. struck down, but not destroyed. (2 Corinthians 4:8-9) The following verse means so much to me:
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
1 Corinthians 10:13
I so often thought it meant that God knew my breaking point, and would be watching me and have his hand on a buzzer that he could press right when I am about to break, thinking something like this... "OK, she can't handle that, so I'll stop the trial right... watch for it, watch for it... here!" In that kind of thinking, I was tending to look inward at my strength, instead of depending on His strength. Looking at the verse and knowing that if I fully surrender to Him, depend on Him, trust Him, look to Him, call on Him, He will take care of me and provide for me and meet my needs. One of those needs being to comfort me when I am feeling overwhelmed with life and its many trials and to point me to be THANKFUL in ALL circumstances. He commands me to be thankful.
Father, I long to please you and bring you glory, but so often I fail and look to myself to handle it all.
I am so grateful that you provide forgiveness and mercy and that you allow me to start over.
I praise you for giving me clarity today.
I praise you for giving me praying friends.
I praise you for giving me so many things to be thankful for. Yes, even those things. I am thankful!
Because they have drawn me closer to YOU, Abba Father.
I love you.
And I am certain, without a single doubt, that you love me.
Help me to display that certainty in how I handle things, Lord.
Help me to seek you FIRST, and trust that you are working all things together for good... because, no matter what happens here on this earth... I will be with YOU for all eternity.
In YOU I have it ALL, and for that I am the most thankful.
In Jesus', precious name, Amen.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Friday, November 1, 2013
Ode To My Timmy
My Timmy turns 37 next week! I think it's pretty awesome that God has allowed me to know him for almost 16 of them and be loved fiercely by him for 15 of those precious years! It is MY honor to be his wife and I truly do count it all joy to call him my husband.
Timmy, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...
1. You are hot. Truly. I have never stopped thinking that about you. Song of Soloman 5:10
2. You are the most intelligent person I have ever met. Proverbs 18:15
3. You are also the most humble, Philippians 2:3
4. courageous, Deuteronomy 31:6
5. kind, Luke 6:35
6. thoughtful, Romans 12:10
7. selfless, John 15:12-14
8. and loving. 1 Peter 4:8
9. You love me in a way that mirrors how Christ loves the church. Your example is constant to me, Timmy. Ephesians 5:25
10. You are such a hardworker. Diligent to provide for us and give my children the opportunity to have mommy at home. Thank you so much, Sweetheart. Colossians 3:23
11. You are incredibly compassionate. It is one of the things that has truly knocked me off my feet about you. Colossians 3:12-13
12. You are so forgiving. What a godly example of Jesus you are to me daily. To us all! Galatians 6:1
13. You have provided a safe place for our children here at home. One that teaches them that God is first, and that we are sinners, in need of Jesus. Deuteronomy 5:6-7
14. You are an amazing cook! No one cooks mexican the way you do, Papi Chulo! RickBayless.com
15. You never complain. Never. Never. Never. I just can't get over that. And you have been through so much. Thank you for shining Jesus to me. Philippians 2:14
16. You are also a sweet example of joy in all circumstances to me. James 1:2-3
17. You are funny! Proverbs 15:13
18. You would lay your life down for us. John 15:13
19. You honor your parents. I am so touched by the way you love them. Exodus 20:12
20. You are my best friend. Proverbs 17:17
21. You mourn with me, Romans 12:15
22. Comfort me. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
23. You encourage me to do the right thing. 1 John 1:9
24. You point me back to Jesus. Proverbs 27:6
25. Your kisses are a treasure to me! Song of Solomon 1:2
26. You take care of me with such a heart of service. I can tell how much you love me when you serve me. Philippians 2:5-7
27. I love you.
28. I am so very thankful for you.
29. I am humbled by your heart to love me, as unloveable as I can be.
30. You remind me daily that I am on your mind with your thoughtful texts and calls. I don't deserve such a gift!
31. And a gift is exactly what you are to me and our precious arrows.
32. I pray that God would grant you many more years with us.
33. Ones that draw you closer to Him.
34. I pray that you would continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
35. I also pray that He would grant you the desires of your heart.
36. Maybe another baby girl.
37. But, especially a wife that respects, loves, and honors you as the Lord has called her to do.
Happy Birthday, my Timmy.
You are one in a kazillion and I love you more than pickles.
Timmy, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...
1. You are hot. Truly. I have never stopped thinking that about you. Song of Soloman 5:10
2. You are the most intelligent person I have ever met. Proverbs 18:15
3. You are also the most humble, Philippians 2:3
4. courageous, Deuteronomy 31:6
5. kind, Luke 6:35
6. thoughtful, Romans 12:10
7. selfless, John 15:12-14
8. and loving. 1 Peter 4:8
9. You love me in a way that mirrors how Christ loves the church. Your example is constant to me, Timmy. Ephesians 5:25
10. You are such a hardworker. Diligent to provide for us and give my children the opportunity to have mommy at home. Thank you so much, Sweetheart. Colossians 3:23
11. You are incredibly compassionate. It is one of the things that has truly knocked me off my feet about you. Colossians 3:12-13
12. You are so forgiving. What a godly example of Jesus you are to me daily. To us all! Galatians 6:1
13. You have provided a safe place for our children here at home. One that teaches them that God is first, and that we are sinners, in need of Jesus. Deuteronomy 5:6-7
14. You are an amazing cook! No one cooks mexican the way you do, Papi Chulo! RickBayless.com
15. You never complain. Never. Never. Never. I just can't get over that. And you have been through so much. Thank you for shining Jesus to me. Philippians 2:14
16. You are also a sweet example of joy in all circumstances to me. James 1:2-3
17. You are funny! Proverbs 15:13
18. You would lay your life down for us. John 15:13
19. You honor your parents. I am so touched by the way you love them. Exodus 20:12
20. You are my best friend. Proverbs 17:17
21. You mourn with me, Romans 12:15
22. Comfort me. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
23. You encourage me to do the right thing. 1 John 1:9
24. You point me back to Jesus. Proverbs 27:6
25. Your kisses are a treasure to me! Song of Solomon 1:2
26. You take care of me with such a heart of service. I can tell how much you love me when you serve me. Philippians 2:5-7
27. I love you.
28. I am so very thankful for you.
29. I am humbled by your heart to love me, as unloveable as I can be.
30. You remind me daily that I am on your mind with your thoughtful texts and calls. I don't deserve such a gift!
31. And a gift is exactly what you are to me and our precious arrows.
32. I pray that God would grant you many more years with us.
33. Ones that draw you closer to Him.
34. I pray that you would continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
35. I also pray that He would grant you the desires of your heart.
36. Maybe another baby girl.
37. But, especially a wife that respects, loves, and honors you as the Lord has called her to do.
Happy Birthday, my Timmy.
You are one in a kazillion and I love you more than pickles.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Be Careful What You Wish For
I turned 40 back in May, 2012. I knew exactly what I wanted to ask God for on this milestone birthday... for Him to grow me, prune me, and stretch me like never before. Well, you know how people say, "Be Careful what you wish for"? I think we need to be very aware of what we pray for, too. I was asking God for some very BIG things in my life, but I realized I prayed in a way that left how HE would go about doing these things, all up to Him. I laugh now, because I know He is the one that put those precious desires on my heart, to begin with. But, within a few weeks of that big birthday, I was starting to see God giving me my presents (Growing, pruning, stretching) in very life altering ways. I won't go into all the things that have changed in the last 17 months, because it would take me a long time to go through it all, but many of them involved heartache and sorrow filled tears. The one thing that was bigger than the heartache or tears, though, was the peace. I absolutely had an overwhelming sense of peace as we endured some very heavy circumstances. Peace that God was bigger than it all and that He was controlling every aspect of what happened and that He had purpose in allowing us to go through it. All we needed to do was to be joyful in it all.
"GIVE THANKS IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES; FOR THIS IS THE WILL OF GOD IN CHRIST JESUS FOR YOU." 1Thessalonians 5:18
This verse stated to me that I was to be joyful even as we dealt with an older child that was choosing to make bad choices. This verse meant I was to be joyful as we thanked God for my 8th pregnancy, and then said goodbye to our baby (due to miscarriage)just 2 weeks after. It also meant I had to be joyful as we faced one of the most difficult trials I am sure we will ever face as a family, just a couple months after losing our baby, Shalom. But, what I started noticing is that through it all God was answering my prayer from my birthday 'wish' over, and over, and over, and over! He was doing exactly what I had asked... growing me, pruning me, stretching me! It has been very humbling because I would sometimes feel so overwhelmed with the sadness of my circumstances, and wanted to just crawl under the blankets and cry all day, but His Word has been such a lamp unto my feet this year! I prayed... He answered. BIG TIME. He is faithful! Maybe I would have liked for him to answer it with just fun and happy go lucky circumstances, but I probably wouldn't be where I am in my walk with Christ, if He had done that. I needed to be exposed to the world, the way I have, so that I would grow a heart for the lost. Grow a heart for our brethren that are hurting and falling away. He allowed me to go through it all so that I would cry out, "Abba Father!" And, believe me, I have cried and cried and cried. And, you know what? He answers and comforts me daily.
Through His Word I have been comforted this year like none other. Why? Because I have actually gone to His Word, the Bible, and read it every day for a year(Except 2 that I missed so far in 2013). This means that I am soaking Him up when I am happy, sad, confused, exhuasted, overwhelmed, rejoicing, expectant, etc. I am developing a relationship with my Heavenly Father because I am meeting with Him everyday. I am coming to Him and laying it all at His feet and asking for His guidance, and His hand over my life, and that His will would be done in my life, in Tim's life, and the lives of each of my precious arrows. I had never read my Bible this way before. I would read here and there. I would skip over certain chapters in the Old Testament because they seemed to drag on our seemed unneccesary to me. However, this year, I committed to reading E V E R Y single word. Every single one. And I have been so abundantly blessed because of it.
I know that one of the reasons I have been able to stick to it is because God is using some amazing women in my life. Women that agreed to committ to reading their Bibles along with me this year. Women that agreed to pray everyday and develop a passion for their relationships with God. Our group was meant to help us all be accountable to one another as we strived to grow in these areas. I am eternally grateful for these women. I have been blessed above and beyond as they have encouraged me, prayed for me and with me, and held me accountable. I have learned things from these women, that I hadn't been exposed to before. God is using these godly women to draw me even closer to Him through their examples. I am so thankful for them. I have learned so much about being passion for Him (Thank you, Kim). I have learned so much about transparency (Thank you, Kate). I have learned so much about encouragement (Thank you, Michelle). I have learned so much about compassion (Thank you, Karen). I have learned so much about diligence (Thank you, Kelley). All these women have played a role in my growth this year. I praise God for each of them... for all of the women that have been or still are with the club. You are all such dear friends to me!
So, I prayed for Him to grow me, prune me, stretch me again on my 41st birthday. Was I worried that we would have to go through another difficult and heartwrenching year like the last? No. Now I am equipped for it, because " the Word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart." Hebrews 4:12
This doesn't mean that I wake up each morning hungering for His Word. There are sweet mornings like that, but many are still filled with thinking I need to get a load of laundry in the washer, or I need to check my email, etc. So, I am still a work in progess. He is still pruning me. He always will be. That is why I am so thankful for the women I call my sisters and my dear friends over at the 31 Club. You, my sweet sisters, are "as iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend." Proverbs 27:17
Thank you, Father, for giving me the best birthday gift I have every wished for. Ever. Being drawn closer to you each day has been the sweetest experience of my life. I love you.
"GIVE THANKS IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES; FOR THIS IS THE WILL OF GOD IN CHRIST JESUS FOR YOU." 1Thessalonians 5:18
This verse stated to me that I was to be joyful even as we dealt with an older child that was choosing to make bad choices. This verse meant I was to be joyful as we thanked God for my 8th pregnancy, and then said goodbye to our baby (due to miscarriage)just 2 weeks after. It also meant I had to be joyful as we faced one of the most difficult trials I am sure we will ever face as a family, just a couple months after losing our baby, Shalom. But, what I started noticing is that through it all God was answering my prayer from my birthday 'wish' over, and over, and over, and over! He was doing exactly what I had asked... growing me, pruning me, stretching me! It has been very humbling because I would sometimes feel so overwhelmed with the sadness of my circumstances, and wanted to just crawl under the blankets and cry all day, but His Word has been such a lamp unto my feet this year! I prayed... He answered. BIG TIME. He is faithful! Maybe I would have liked for him to answer it with just fun and happy go lucky circumstances, but I probably wouldn't be where I am in my walk with Christ, if He had done that. I needed to be exposed to the world, the way I have, so that I would grow a heart for the lost. Grow a heart for our brethren that are hurting and falling away. He allowed me to go through it all so that I would cry out, "Abba Father!" And, believe me, I have cried and cried and cried. And, you know what? He answers and comforts me daily.
Through His Word I have been comforted this year like none other. Why? Because I have actually gone to His Word, the Bible, and read it every day for a year(Except 2 that I missed so far in 2013). This means that I am soaking Him up when I am happy, sad, confused, exhuasted, overwhelmed, rejoicing, expectant, etc. I am developing a relationship with my Heavenly Father because I am meeting with Him everyday. I am coming to Him and laying it all at His feet and asking for His guidance, and His hand over my life, and that His will would be done in my life, in Tim's life, and the lives of each of my precious arrows. I had never read my Bible this way before. I would read here and there. I would skip over certain chapters in the Old Testament because they seemed to drag on our seemed unneccesary to me. However, this year, I committed to reading E V E R Y single word. Every single one. And I have been so abundantly blessed because of it.
I know that one of the reasons I have been able to stick to it is because God is using some amazing women in my life. Women that agreed to committ to reading their Bibles along with me this year. Women that agreed to pray everyday and develop a passion for their relationships with God. Our group was meant to help us all be accountable to one another as we strived to grow in these areas. I am eternally grateful for these women. I have been blessed above and beyond as they have encouraged me, prayed for me and with me, and held me accountable. I have learned things from these women, that I hadn't been exposed to before. God is using these godly women to draw me even closer to Him through their examples. I am so thankful for them. I have learned so much about being passion for Him (Thank you, Kim). I have learned so much about transparency (Thank you, Kate). I have learned so much about encouragement (Thank you, Michelle). I have learned so much about compassion (Thank you, Karen). I have learned so much about diligence (Thank you, Kelley). All these women have played a role in my growth this year. I praise God for each of them... for all of the women that have been or still are with the club. You are all such dear friends to me!
So, I prayed for Him to grow me, prune me, stretch me again on my 41st birthday. Was I worried that we would have to go through another difficult and heartwrenching year like the last? No. Now I am equipped for it, because " the Word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart." Hebrews 4:12
This doesn't mean that I wake up each morning hungering for His Word. There are sweet mornings like that, but many are still filled with thinking I need to get a load of laundry in the washer, or I need to check my email, etc. So, I am still a work in progess. He is still pruning me. He always will be. That is why I am so thankful for the women I call my sisters and my dear friends over at the 31 Club. You, my sweet sisters, are "as iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend." Proverbs 27:17
Thank you, Father, for giving me the best birthday gift I have every wished for. Ever. Being drawn closer to you each day has been the sweetest experience of my life. I love you.
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