Chapter Sixteen

I am currently reading chapter 16 of the Excellent Wife book by Martha Peace.  Chapter 16 is on 'Communication'.  I had been looking forward to this chapter, in particular, because I knew I could use some serious help here.  I read it the other night and answered some follow up questions that come with the workbook.  I learned some important things.  Now to put them to work in my life as a wife.

God gives us opportunities everyday to either make the right choices or to make the wrong ones.  I am sure I make more of the wrong ones, some days, but yesterday was a real growing day and I am thankful for chapter 16!  Mrs. Peace shares a few principles in this chapter about communication and I had a few jump out at me when I needed to respond to an email from Tim yesterday....

Now, for you to understand, I need to share what the email from Tim said:

Baby,
The flight itinerary for the annual partners' Labor Day retreat (to Wisconsin, Brian's alma mater, this time) is below. Is this okay? Love you, babe.

Nice and sweet, right?  WRONG.  At least that wasn't my first sentiment.  You DO see what I see, right??  It's on LABOR DAY WEEKEND!!!  That's MY weekend with Tim.  The partners get to see Timmy ALL WEEK LONG!

So, I proceeded to type this:

Seriously????!!!  Not cool.  Why would they plan this on Labor Day weekend?  I am not happy about this.  Don't they get to see you all the time, now they want to take a holiday weekend from us and spend it with you, too?

As I typed, I stewed.  It wasn't some yummy smelling stew, either.  It was one of resentment (towards the partners) and anger (towards Tim for even considering this would be OK)  Can you imagine the stench of that combination?  Putrid, right?  It wouldn't be unusual for me to hit send as this point...   HOWEVER, one of my best friends, the Holy Spirit, impressed on my heart and brought some of those principles to mind:

Here are just a few of the principles:

1.  A WIFE'S WRONG WORDS BEGIN WITH WRONG THOUGHTS AND WRONG MOTIVES

(Matthew 15:19-20)

2.  A WIFE IS ACCOUNTABLE TO GOD FOR EVERY WORD SHE SPEAKS.

(Matthew 12:36-37)

3.  A WIFE IS MORE LIKELY TO SIN IF HER WORDS ARE RASH.

(Proverbs 12:18)

Thank God for the Holy Spirit!  Thank God that He loves me and would allow the Holy Spirit to move me to do the right thing.   Remembering that my rash words could lead me to sin was convicting.  Remembering that God holds me accountable for every word I speak...or type, for that matter.  And, especially the point about how wrong words begin with wrong thoughts and motives...that is sooo me in this case!

So, I hit delete and erased that little, but not very excellent wifey, paragraph.  Ahhhh...that felt better already.  Then, I prayed that God would guide my fingers as I typed.  I will admit that my response could have totally been sweeter, and in retrospect, I should have stepped away from the computer, continued to pray and came back later, but I still saw progress. Here is my response:

Oh.  I see it's on Labor Day Weekend.  Not my first choice, but I'm glad you can go  have fun. 

Tim responded, "Thanks, Babe."  I was still trying to get past the thought that he would be gone that weekend, but life starts to distract me sweetly.  There is homeschooling to continue, and princesses that expect me to drink their tea, and laundry to be folded.  God used my beautiful life to have me stop thinking about how I would be missing my Timmy on that weekend.

Then it started to happen.  I started to see reward for having held my tongue.  I started to see God rewarding my obedience all over the place!  Check out this verse:

 "If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land."
Isaiah 1:19

Don't you love seeing God's Word come to life in yours? I DO!!  So, here is how my day started to unfold.  It was such a GOOOOOD day!  God used this day, after my growth spurt, to have some prayer's that had been on my heart (And Tim's for the last few months) become answered.  His timing is so perfect!  I didn't understand why He was taking so long to answer our prayers, these past few months, but now I see why.  He wanted me to recognize that obedience brings reward.  Being willing to obey, brings the best of the land.  AND, IT DID!

It was bill paying day, which I actually consider a good day because it means we are blessed enough to have the means to pay those bills.  As, I sat down to pay the ones on my list,  I recognized the kids health insurance.  I usually pay that earlier in the month, however, we hadn't heard back about the application we had sent in, which allows for us to pay next to nothing for their health insurance.  We have to reapply for this plan of insurance every 2 years and this is the year that Miguel was too old to be on it, so we thought it might throw us off the bracket to receive it.  We had been praying so earnestly over this matter.  I decided I should call and find out if they were going to be covered or not.  I held my breath a little, but remembered that I had told Tim that if they were no longer covered, God had a plan for us in that area, anyway.  That sweet operator made my day.  Every single one of our 5 youngest children was covered for the next 2 years.  2 Y E A R S!  So awesome to hear her say "Until 2014."  

PRAISE GOD!  Such answered prayer.  

I couldn't wait to call Tim and share with him.

Our conversation was so cute, so I must share with you:

ME:  "Babe, what is the best news I could give you right now?"

TIM:  "Ummm....that you are pregnant?"

ME:  "Really?  That would be the best news?"

TIM:  "Yeah.  That would be great.  So, are you pregnant?"

At this point I am so in love with my Timmy for being the kind of guy that would think that my being pregnant for the umpteeth time would be the BEST NEWS I could give him right now, that I almost forgot the reason I called him.

ME:  "That's so sweet, Babe, but that's not the news I have.  Remember the kids health insurance application?  It was approved!!"

We both rejoiced and thanked God over the phone. 

Then, the next big answer to prayer.  It has been my prayer for months.  

My prayer being that my handsome first born and I could have a sweet sit down-talk, without my having to pull it out of him.  I wanted him to share his heart with me, without my having to ask him to share.  I have been learning that it wasn't Miguel that needed to do something different, it was me.  I needed to make myself accessible and make myself the kind of mom that he would want to share his heart with.  (I am constantly growing in the area of wife and mother, and I praise God for his constant pruning in my life.)  It was a rainy day yesterday as just Miguel and I drove to Costco and when we found a parking spot it got us to talking about how God had answered prayer about the insurance and talking about his upcoming missions trip to Thailand and then it happened.  After about 20 minutes of my sharing my heart, he shared his.  I loved how he introduced his conversation to me:  

MIGUEL:  "OK.  I'm just going to say it.  OK?  I'm just going to tell you and that's it."

I was surprised at my response to my eldest son and how he then responded to me.  I saw God interwoven in our entire conversation and I can't tell you what a sweet way it was to end my day of applying Chapter 16 to my life.  Two MAJOR prayers, ANSWERED.  THANK YOU, JESUS.

It was so worth the wait.  And, it was so worth the pruning process of growing.

I am no excellent wife.  VERY far from it.  However, each day God gives me an opportunity to do the right thing or the wrong thing.  The God thing or the sin thing.  God help me to do your will today!  Help me to be willing to obey you so that I can eat the good of the land!