So, here's the deal. Can I be frank?
I am not pregnant.
At least not at the moment.
That's not a bad thing. It's a good thing. Why? Because, we believe that God's timing is perfect, so when he sees fit to bless our family with another arrow, then glory to Him! Or, if he chooses to keep us at a half dozen here on earth, we'd accept that, too.
We are trusting in Him to decide what our family size should be.
I have always enjoyed sharing about our faith and how we came to this point in life... trusting God with my womb. I have loved being able to share, especially with those that might not know Jesus, or are just growing in the knowledge of Him, how we are seeking His will over how many children He would have our family have. But, lately, I have found that some people have the nerve to ask if i'm pregnant yet. Really?
Here's how I feel about this.
If I wanted you to know if I was pregnant, I would have told you. So, don't ask me, "Are you pregnant?", and put me in the position of having to figure a way out of answering. I mean, for curiosity sake, I'm telling you that I am not pregnant now, but what if I were? What if it was something that we weren't ready to share yet and wanted to keep close to our hearts? Please, don't put me in the position of having to weave my way out of answering. So, I guess I am going to have to come up with a polite, but straight forward way to answer these questions...
Unnamed person: Still not pregnant? How about this month? How about now?
Hmm... I am going to ponder this one a little bit. Have any ideas or suggestions? I just want to have a nice way to say, "Jesus loves you and please, mind your own beeswax."
8 comments:
This is so funny, but I know how you feel...and EXACTLY what you mean. I wish I had a response, but I struggle with coming up with responses about our family/kids so often!! Funny, I just dealt with a situation like this last night.....it never ceases to amaze me how people just feel the need to know other people's business...and don't mind to come up and ask!!!
I grew up in a family of 5 kids and was used to hearing people's negative responses. Many people would say, "Are you guys Mormon?" or go as far as to say, "Wow, your parents couldn't keep their hands off each other could they?" I always found that to be a very rude and insensitive thing to say, but my parents prepared us in advance for what responses we might get from people. They have heard even worse things than we have. In spite of all that, though, I had so many people who candidly told me that they wished they had more siblings or more children... that a big family would have been nice. Or that they felt called to have more children but didn't follow the Lord's will on that, and are very sad about their disobedience.
As I've shared with you before, since the day Chris I got married, not a week went by where someone didn't ask me if I'm pregnant yet. And that really frustrated me, as Chris could tell you, because it really ruins the surprise if we were but hadn't shared it yet. Eventually, I just told everyone, "It's in God's hands and only He knows the perfect timing. You'll know if and when the Lord blesses us."
It sounds like the unnamed person really needs to hear that you would really appreciate it if they wouldn't ask you about it anymore, that it is in God's hands. I'm always surprised at how insensitive people can be about such a sensitive subject. It's very personal and yet is often treated so carelessly.
Much love to you! xoxo
I dislike that question almost as much as the "you're not pregnant again are you?" or the " did you really want another one?". I guess I'm still learning to deal with that one too and more recently with outsiders gender disappointment. Just as God's timing is perfect so is his choice of wether the baby is a boy or girl.I'm happy with whatever God decides. Wether you have 12 girls and no boys or vise versa.
I hear you though, I say tell them to mind their own Beeswax, or turn it into a question "are you?"
I have to go back to when I was pregnant and people would come up and poke my belly asking when Christiana would arrive. I got tired of it (especially being pregnant) and would poke them back and say "When God is good and ready she will be here-I'm in no rush to move God along!"
You know that if you're being "frank" or "straight forward" then it's working your nerve (more than I can understand). I try not to ever ask people if they're pregnant but rather live in the moment. If I suspect they're pregnant I will tell my dh that I think it and he says to remember what it was like when I was pregnant and to not "pry".
You go girl! I <3 that about you :)
Hi Veronica! I'm still around in the bloggy world, but life is taking it's toll on my very limited free time, so I don't keep up as much as I'd like. Just stopped by tho to see what's going on and read this post. The first thing that comes to mind, as far as a response to people, who I'm sure don't realize they are being rude...what about just saying "we are trusting God with that" or "we are leaving that up to God". Blessings, from one overflowing quiver to another :) Lisa
I agree. What's up with that anyway? I can't tell you the number of times I've heard that. And still hear it. The more babies we were blessed, the more we became quite quiet about it. It seemed that each time "the cat was let out of the bag" all we got were negative comments. And you know what? I don't need that. Ever. Those babies are our treasures and we really didn't appreciate people talking them down with negative words. It's like, you know they most likely will not be happy with you, so why even tell them. Besides, time always tells it off so why cast my pearls before the swine before I have to!!
great post by the way.
I like Lisa's answer. That is probably be the way I would answer. If people ask us if we are going to have more, I just look at them and say, "I don't know, we'll see what the Lord does."
I think we can handle these rude questions with grace when we are prepared to give the answer.
I just found your blog totally randomly but I saw this and HAD to comment! AMEN! It's so annoying to hear, "So, you're not pregnant yet." Nope. And we're fine with it! Trusting God to control the womb could mean no children, one child, or twenty children! It's nice that people want us to have more children, we pray for more, but we'll let them know when they're coming, or they'll figure it out eventually! I know people don't mean to be rude, and I'll respond kindly, but it does get bothersome! All that being said, it's a good reminder for me to mind my own business too! :D
Regarding people asking if you're pregnant when you are but you don't want to tell, we ALWAYS answer the question "Are you pregnant?" with "Ya never know!" That can be a yes or no, but it's nice for saying "We're not telling either way!" :D
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