Is This Goodbye?

Could the sun be setting on our time together?  Well, not neccessarily...


Recently I started to weigh some thoughts in my head and they came back pretty heavy. I want to be a blessing to others, and I want to shine Jesus, but sometimes, I need to protect my heart, too. So, I am going private. It may be for a short while, a long while. Not quite sure.  The Lord will direct my path, but I was wondering if you want to come along for that ride? Let me know if you do.

Thanks for your support, love, and encouragement.  May God continue to bless you as you serve Him!!

Is That A Log In Your Eye?

"All of the charm and beauty of a woman may have amounts to nothing if her ambitions are self-centered. But if she reflects her Creator and assumes the posture of a graceful servant, she cannot help but command high respect and love." ~Jeanne Hendricks



I love my husband. He works hard to provide for us. He takes good care of me. He takes good care of my arrows. He loves the Lord. All that is nice and good, but it is those little 'quirks' or 'imperfections', that remove his luster sometimes. You know, the quirks and imperfections that you found cute when you were dating or first married? Yeah, you know what I am talking about. They are the ones that are now driving a thorn into your side. They are the ones that have you grumbling and mumbling because you are allowing it to annoy you or drive you up the wall. They are the imperfections that have me falling to my knees in prayer for my dear, 'faulty' husband, because HE is the one that needs the prayer. HE is the one that has so much work that needs to be done on him. Sure, I am not without sin, but HE is really messed up, so I am being really selfless by asking God to help him and fix him, aren't I? NOT.

Dear Sisters, let us not forget Matthew 7:3:

3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

I am so guilty of seeing a speck in my eye, and accusing Tim of not just a plank, but plankS, in his. And, can I get an OUCH for the dose of medicine given by being called a hypocrite? OOOOUCH. Big ouch.

So today is about humbling ourselves before the Lord and asking for forgiveness if we have done what Matthew 7:3 suggests. It is about learning to ask God to change our hearts and our ways, instead of asking to have Him change our husbands. Oh, how I long to be humble in that manner. Oh, how I long to do right in my Father's eyes. So, right now as I searched for the perfect verse to add here, the Holy Spirit drew me to this in 2 Corinthians 11:30 (Read 11:16-30 to get the full idea of what Paul was sharing regarding his weaknesses):

"If I must talk about myself, I will do it about the things that show how weak I am."

Another whammy. I love how the Lord is growing me even as I type this email in the wee hours of the morning!


So, my husband's quirks, which shall remain unnamed, are the LEAST of my concerns. The funny thing is that I know I must have some really funky quirks and my husband never points them out! I know that he overlooks them, and sometimes even will work with them, so as to not humiliate me. Oh, how the power of conviction just washed over me as I typed that.

So, ladies, this is our challenge... to take a look at the planks... or in my case, logs, in our eye. To really be aware of our thoughts and tongue. To humble ourselves before our God, and yes, sometimes even in front of our husbands and ask forgiveness and repent. To be aware of actions. And, even take the next step and ask our husband's to hold us accountable for our tongues and our actions. I know once I did, after my sweet friend Julia suggested it, I experienced a really rough few days, because Tim was gentle in his rebuke, but the poor guy has a lot of things to be keeping me accountable for! I think he started to get overwhelmed with all my yuck and has taken a bit of a break, lol.

I ask you to please pray for me to have God humble me, break me, and remold me into a wife that is loving and gracious and meek. A wife that instead of seeing her husband's weaknesses, is fully aware of her own. A wife that seeks God's heart on how to deal with issues at home, that might seem bothersome to her, but make her husband who he is because God made him that way. Oh, yes, soften my heart towards my gift from you, My Timmy, Lord.

Random Act Of Kindness?

I don't believe in coincidences. I don't think that things happen randomly. I believe that God is in every single detail and I see evidence of that on a daily basis, if I stop to take the time to notice Him and savor Him.

co·in·ci·dence   [koh-in-si-duhns]
–noun
1.
a striking occurrence of two or more events at one time apparently by mere chance: Our meeting in Venice was pure coincidence.

ran·dom   [ran-duhm] Show IPA
–adjective
1.
proceeding, made, or occurring without definite aim, reason, or pattern.

Many years ago when I was a very little girl I experienced a random act of kindness. I was about 7 years old and my parents would give us a quarter each Sunday as our allowance. My sister, Amanda, and I, would walk across the street to Safeway to buy our favorite chocolate bars for the week. Hers was 3 musketeers, mine Milky Way. Each Sunday this was our ritual, and something we looked forward to. I remember going to the check stand where they keep all the candybars. I put my Milky Way up on the conveyer belt, put my little divider up between my candy bar and Amanda's, and waited my turn to pay.

I will never forget the face of that cashier. I remember the big 80's hair...poofy and blonde and teased to high heaven. I remember blue eyeshadow that was brighter than any crayon I had ever seen. And, that lipstick. It was the color of strawberry flavored Hubba Bubba bubblegum. She also had some of those feather earrings on. Man, how I wanted a pair of those feather earrings, back then. Anyway, i'll never forget her because she was the first person that caused me to suffer from humiliation. She caused me embarrassment. Here's why...

I had my quarter ready to hand over to this lovely cashier and she must have given me the total, but I must not have noticed what she said, being excited about my Milky Way and all, and handed her over my quarter. She scoffed and said I owed her a dime. What? A dime? What do you mean?

"They are 25 cents." I reminded her.

"No. 35 cents." She crossed her arms, impatiently.

"But, I was here last week, and they were 25 cents, then."

"Well, they aren't now. Do you want it or not?" She never cracked a smile or a kind tone.

I started to cry because I knew I didn't have a dime, and neither did my sister. I was embarrassed that she spoke to me in such a belittling way and that I was holding up the line, and I just froze. As the tears slid down my face you could see she just wanted me to move and my little sister, whom was always so protective, started to give the cashier a look that probably could have straightened that teased head of hair straight. Then, it happened. A moment that has been engraved on my heart for over 30 years.

He leaned down and said, "Here you go."

"Huh?" He was handing me a dime.

I remember how shiny it looked. How cool it felt against my skin. How it seemed like I had grown from 2 inches to 20 feet the minute it hit my palm.

"Thank you." I said, as I wiped the tears and handed it proudly to the cashier. She took it without so much as a smile, or a thank you, or anything that would give me a hint as to her having a kind bone in her body.

I'll never forget the face of that kind man, either. How he didn't hesitate to help me. How he took a moment to bless a little girl at a time she felt so defeated and insecure and sad. He probably never gave it a second thought, his act of kindness, but God had a hand in that act, so it wasn't random. Nothing is random, because God had everything planned out for us, even before we were born. And, now, when I think of that kind man, which is anytime I see a Milky Way bar or see someone doing something kind for a child, I pray for him. And, I know that the Lord would want me to pray for that cashier, too. So, anytime I see big blonde hair, or blue eyeshadow, I will pray for her, as well.

So, remember, even the tiniest thing you do in a child's life can stay with them forever. The kind acts, and the not so kind. Never think that what you do is insignificant, because it could be something that changes the life of a child forever.

Oh, and what about my sister's 3 Musketeer's bar? There was a woman standing behind the kind gentleman in line, that blessed her with a dime of her own. Told, you God was in every detail.

"The dice are thrown in the lap, and every decision is from the Lord" Proverbs 16:33

Oh, The Tangled Web We Weave...

The other night one of my children, whom shall remain unnamed, told me a lie. To my face. No hesitation. Just flat out lied to me. I had no clue, took this child at their word and believed every syllable coming out of their mouth. Daddy, my wise husband that has been blessed with the gift of discernment, caught it.

ME: But, how do you know he/she is lying? You have no proof! (I defended, as he had just finished having a 'talk' with said child and taking away the new thing they had just purchased with their own money. I felt he was being unjust. He said he just knew and was waiting for said child to confess, but that he wanted said child to know that the Holy Spirit had given him wisdom on the matter.)

ME: I don't think you are being fair. (Wise husband tries to explain, I wave him off, not wanting to be part of this mess.)

About an hour later my dear, wise, discerning husband comes into the room to let me know that said child had confessed. Confessed to their bold lie. That this child owned up to their sin and had asked him for forgiveness.

WHAT?!! How could I have been so blind? How did this sweet, loving child look me right in the eye and lie to me?

How broken hearted I became.

How saddened.

How betrayed.

How convicted.

I was learning how my Father must feel when I lie to Him. When I think I am pulling one over on Him, but He knows my heart. He knows my thoughts... even before I think them! Oh, Father, I love my child, but nowhere as much as you love me! So, if this hurts me so much to have my child disobey me, it must really be sorrowful to you when I disobey you and sin.

1 John 3:20
whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

Then, after I pondered these thoughts I was convicted, yet again.

How convicted.

I had not supported my husband. I had not stood with him. Instead, I argued, complained, and then shut him out. Did he react to my little pity party? Thank God, he did not. He stood firm and praise God he did. So, I was also feeling very convicted that I was not being very Proverbs 31 earlier. Verse 11 states that her husband has full confidence in her, and lacks nothing of value. Ouch. Big ouch.

So, although Satan sought out to have my child lie to me, God was glorified in this situation. My child was convicted, I was convicted, and relationships will be stronger because of it. I love how God makes beauty of ashes! Since that night, I have been reminded what a gift my husband is to me and my children. What an important job I hold as a wife and mother. What a beautiful thing it is to see a child full of repent. What a blessing it is to see God in all things; good and bad.

The truth WILL SET YOU FREE!!

We Can Learn A Lot From A Child

The other night Tim had accused Christian of doing something he hadn't.

As Christian walked away, with tears in his eyes, I told Tim that Christian had not done what he suspected.

Tim called Christian back in the room.

Tim: "Christian, I am sorry. Do you forgive me?"

Christian wraps his arms around Tim's neck, starts to cry, and says right into Tim's ear,

"I will always forgive you, Dad."

He left with a smile on his face, and Tim and I were left with a lesson.

Always.

He said, he would always forgive.

Sometimes it isn't easy to forgive, but the Lord calls us to forgive.

"Try to understand other people. Forgive each other. If you have something against someone, forgive him. That is the way the Lord forgave you." Colossians 3:13

Isabella Grace: 1st Birthday!

I'll never forget the day your were born, Pretty! (You can read about it here: part one and here: part two)! My, you were SO squishy!



(She's ONE! I can't believe my little girl has not only reached this milestone, but has now been basking in it for a couple of weeks. Where did the time go?)

To, Isabella Grace, pretty face...Mommy's Easy-Breezy-Beautiful-cover-girl- (said in a sing-song kind of voice) I love you, Sugar Girl! What an answer to prayer you have been for our family.

It has been so much fun watching you become your own little person. How you have embraced your place in our family and own it like no other.

Daddy adores you and can't get over how beautiful you are. He loves to stare at you while you sleep. I see such wonderment in his eyes.

Miguel is the one that is wrapped around your finger. TIGHT! You can do no wrong in his eyes and you are his Belle. You are so blessed to have a big brother that loves you so much.

Karizma has turned you into her little living doll. I love how she tends to you and dresses you up, sometimes multiple times in one day. I sure hope you will learn to appreciate her, and not take her for granted, as you grow up. She's the one that prayed for you the most, Bella.

Walker will do anything to keep you happy. Make funny faces, jump up and down. Sing Happy Birthday. He hates to see you unhappy. He loves you so!

Christian takes every opportunity possible to carry you around. You trust him the most out of the 3 little guys. You allow yourself to go wherever he takes you. Probably because you know that all roads usually lead to Mommy, when you are involved.

Zachary. Oh, Zachary. You and Zack are funny to watch. He is the joker of the family, but you don't seem to think he is funny AT ALL. Most times you will scream if he gets within a few inches of you. He seems to have found your button, and will 'push' it, just to hear that squeal of discontent. I am thinking that this phase will end, and you both will be the best of friends before long, especially since he is the one that is willing to play tea party with you and help you put your babies in their stroller for you.

Mommy can't stop thanking the Lord for you, Breezy. You bring me constant joy and watching Daddy and your siblings love on you, is an added bonus. Having the gift of getting to nurse you has been the best and I love how it has bonded us. Like glue. You to me. I know you love me and trust me and need me. It is such a gift to see you light up when I walk into a room. What an angel you are in my life. I never expected a blue eyed, white skinned angel, but an angel, none the less.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ISABELLA. God bless you all the days of your life.


------------------

Her first birthday party was so much fun! We had all the special people in her life there and we thank them all for being a part of her day. It wouldn't have been the same without each of them.

Her Pink Poodle Party had 'leg of poodle' for the main course (hot dogs) and 'poodle tails' (marshmellows dipped in white chocolate and pink sprinkles for dessert. All served in dog bowls. Thanks to everyone that helped make it possible, like Daddy and all his hard work to provide for it. Brenda for baking all the goodies (cupcakes, 1st bday cake, and cookie favors in the shape of pink poodles). And of course, the girls that captured her day on film: Tia Elisa, Corinna, and Julia. What special-special people blessed us that day!!



Isabella exactly 1 year old, wearing the dress I wore for my first birthday. It fit her perfectly.





This was one of her pinatas. She was terrified of it.





Pinata #2. She tried to take a bite out of it.





Her 1st birthday cake, made with love by Brenda. This cake was 3 tiers, made in different flavors, although, I believe Isabella was non-discriminatory towards flavor.





Happy Birthday to you!





Brenda made these, as well. They were the reason we went with the pink poodle theme. Aren't they THE cutest?!?!





We sure do love you, Sugar.





You love your Belle doll that Daddy picked out.





Look at that! Your 'bestie', Kadie, got a poodle for you. Way to go, Loren's!




You were SHOWERED with gifts! You are so blessed!




I think after present #4, you were just about DONE.




"Thanks, everyone for all my pretty dresses, and outfits, and shoes, and toys, and...just being here!"





You had Grandpapa and Gramita there, while Tia Elisa took pictures.




Grandmom and Grandad were also there! And, so were Uncle Chris and Aunt Kelley!





And, so many of your little friends! About 40 of them! Here you are giving Kadie bug, your best girlfriend, a big hug.





Just a few of the women that have been praying right along side with us for you...before you were conceived, while in the womb, once you were born, and to this day. We are blessed with amazing friends in our lives, Isabella Gracie.




Here are some of your biggest fans: Big Brother-Miguel, Auntie Tam, Big Sister-Karizma




Isabella Grace, may the Lord guide your steps all the days of your life. May your every step be honoring to Him and and you walk uprightly, bringing glory to God in all you do.




This about says it all...





Pooped out after her big day.





Breezy, we have watched you grow into a sweet little girl that loves her mommy more than anything (sorry, Daddy) and it has been our joy. We look forward to seeing what God has in store for you this coming year...possibly something like this???? Not yet, but maybe some day. ;0)


Love you, Baby Girl. Thank you, Lord, for Isabella Grace.

Mop 'Til You Drop

Friday is our chore day. We have to do lots of cleaning during the week, but Fridays we clean no matter if the place is clean or not...and I can assure you I don't remember a Friday when the place was clean.

Karizma is in charge of mopping the floors and I noticed she hadn't done a very good job today. I asked Walker if he wouldn't mind touching up the spots she had missed. He got so excited. Once he was done and had me inspect his work, I was very pleasantly surprised.


Me: Walker you did a great job! Maybe you should take over mopping on Friday's.

Walker: I can?!?! THANKS, MOM!!



I love how eager they are to take on chores when they are little. I love how serious they take the job that is before them.

At about that time our landlord stopped by...


Walker: Mr. Bennett, guess what? I get to mop on Fridays now!

Mr. Bennett: And, I take it, that's a good thing?

Walker: It's a very good thing. I have been waiting to get my hands on that swiffer sweeper for years!



That made me laugh.

He got to mopping the rest of the kitchen and asked Christian to bring a chair over. He went and grabbed some tape and put this on the chair as a 'do not enter or this can happen to you' warning.


He takes everything he does so seriously. I love how each of my children have very distinct personalities. Walker is our thinker. He reminds me of his older brother, Miguel, and his Dad.

I let you know in a few months if he is still mopping 'til he drops...